YOU ARE IMPORTANT.  WITHOUT YOU OTHERS WOULD NOT EXPERIENCE HOLIDAY HAPPINESS.  You are a giving person who does a lot for people.  Take this moment to acknowledge yourself for the good that you do for others.  Don’t rush to the next line.  Stay right here and let this appreciation of all your efforts sink in.  You are special.  You care about others.  You are able to express that with numerous deeds.  This is no small thing.

TAKE TIME TO REMEMBER YOUR JOY.  There’s a part in all of us that remembers the joy of our favorite childhood holiday.  Maybe you got that present you wanted.  Maybe you travelled to someplace special.  Maybe you remember someone with a great big heart who made you happy.  You might want to close your eyes for this one.  Let a good memory come in to your mind.  Feel what that memory does to your body.  This is your time to reconnect with your joy.  You know where to find it.  Let it resonate inside you.  This memory lives and can be revived any time during this year’s celebration.  It is your joy foundation.  Cherish it, and call it up often.

REMEMBER THE LOVED ONES NO LONGER WITH US.  All adults have memories of relatives who have passed on.  We are especially reminded of the losses during the holiday season, the empty seat at the table, the memory of seeing that person sitting in the rocking chair.  These memories and stories are important now.  Find a way to integrate your deceased loved ones with today’s holiday.  Maybe you set a place.  Maybe you decorate a picture.  Maybe you tell a funny story.  Maybe you make a toast.

MAKE THIS HOLIDAY YOUR OWN.  By bringing all these elements into your holiday season you may experience feelings of becoming well rounded.  You’ve been able to appreciate yourself, you have reconnected with your childhood joy and you have a place to remember your loved ones.  This is your HOLIDAY GROUNDING, the place where you figuratively stand when you feel stressed out.  This is your new holiday home where you can make decisions based on what you want.  Maybe you find a moment to call a friend or relative you’ve been meaning to get in touch with for years.  Maybe you just want to hear the voice of an old schoolmate.  Whatever decisions you make this holiday season, remember to make them from your HOLIDAY GROUNDING.  If you do, those decisions will bring you happiness.

You work hard all year.  Allow this time to be rich with YOUR joy as well as the joy you provide others.  You deserve it.

Happy Holidays

HOLIDAY HAPPINESS:
HEY, WHERE'S MINE?

This is the best time of year, right?  Decorations everywhere you look, holiday music on every station, commercials on television advertising bargains, stores over crowded.  Buying gifts for people we love, like, have to, wish we didn’t have to.

Planning our special days, maybe we visit family; maybe family visits us, inviting friends, being invited.  Baking, sweets, breads, cookies, pies, saying yes to the baking goddess and indulging.  
Oh, the holidays, it’s the best time of the year.

Well it’s supposed to be, isn’t it?  Then why do I feel so stressed?  I should be happy.  I’m supposed to be excited, like I was when I was a child.  I remember being really, really happy, maybe the happiest feeling ever.  Where did it go?  What happened?

Life happened.  We got older.  We got responsible for others.  All the things that used to be done for us, we now have to do them for everyone else.  There are so many people we have to be responsible for, and we get so tired and exhausted trying to make sure everyone is happy.  The list of things we have to do is endless.  We can’t finish everything on the list.  There’s still so-and-so I have to buy a gift for, and if I don’t get those cards out today I will miss the holiday.  Oh, look who just sent us a gift?  I have to add them to the list.

When will this end?  I feel so stressed and drained.  Oh, everyone’s coming over tomorrow.  I have to spend today cooking and cleaning, and why is it I can’t get anyone to help me?  I am so tired.  I feel so alone, and I feel sad.  Yeah, that’s what I’m feeling, sad.

Does this sound familiar?  If it does you are not alone.  Say hello to your neighbors.  Nod your head to your fellow shoppers, high fives to your friends.  We all feel this.  No matter what holiday you celebrate.  I call it holiday madness, feelings of stress, anxiety and just plain overwhelm.

So now we know we’re not alone.  Is there a cure?  Is there something we can do about it?  As a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, I believe the answer is YES!

So let’s start right now with slowing down.  Right now as you read this I want you to take a deep breath and SLOW DOWN!  And now I want you to read the next few paragraphs very carefully.